Goings On

Did you bring the popcorn, Mr. Grey?

Fresh off the burners, Daisy. Fire that baby up and let’s see what this so-called writer is up to.

Oh, goody. He’s writing about us.

What? No dancing hot dogs? No singing cups? Not even a placard telling us to “Enjoy the show”? What is this world coming to?

Wait a minute. That’s not about us. It’s about someone named The Rumble.

Eh? That’s a peculiar name. Oh I see, he’s a superhero.

Does this mean he doesn’t like us anymore?

Well you are a little too cheery for most; like swallowing mass quantities of cough syrup. Lucky you have me with my infinite wisdom and patience.

That was mean.

Precisely. I don’t know what you’re so upset about. If he’s writing about someone else, that means he isn’t bothering us. Just the way I like it.

But, I like it when he writes about us. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. Do something.

Oh, all right. I’ll see if I can slow him down.

Don’t make it too hard for him.

That’s just what I intend to do.



Mr. Grey, Mr. Grey.

Daisy, what is it this time?

Don’t be such a grump or I won’t show you the new invention that Auntie Lect and Aunt Ella-Jentz made just for me.

Those old hags again? Such insufferable fools. Why would I care for anything those twiddlebumps cooked up?

Because it’s going to give me the edge I need to beat you.

Oh, all right. Lead the way.


It’s just a common television set. It isn’t even a flat-panel.

Noooo, it’s Marc-vision. It shows us everything Marc is seeing at a given moment. Auntie Lect said they spliced directly into Marc’s rectum.

Heh. I think you mean his retina. Although, with all the shit on TV these days, I suppose it’s possible.

Yeah, yeah that’s it. His retina.

Well don’t keep me waiting, child. Turn it on and let’s see what he’s doing.

Oh, how cute. He’s writing a blog.

Doesn’t that boy ever learn? A new year; a new blog. What a dolt. He’s just going to give it up in a few weeks like all the rest. How can¬†he think this time will be any different than the others?

Because he discovered us, silly. Isn’t it great? We’re going to be stars. See all the people reading about us?

I don’t WANT to be a star. I just want some peace and quiet.

What kind of attitude is that? People need to know about us.

No, people need to mind their own business.

Mr. Grey. Stop it. These people came to meet us. Just say hi. Here, I’ll show you:

Hello everyone. It’s so nice to meet you. Happy New Year and Welcome to Planet Marc.

Mr. Greeeeey.

Oh, all right. Here goes:

Hello people. I’m glad you had the chance to meet me. Now, leave me the hell alone.

Mr. Grey!